I finally have home internet lately (yay!) and I have been thinking of what sort of post I wanted to kick off my return to my blog. I finally hit on something I think is important.
It may not have escaped the notice of many devotees that those who belong to Apollon reflect our god, just as you find with other devotees to varying degrees. As such, while we can be great listeners and healers, we aren’t your crutch or going to give you platitudes to please you. Apollon is the lord of truth. Part of that is frankly..owning your own shit/personal accountability for your own behavior and being. You are expected to act like a responsible adult, not lie, whine or emotionally blackmail. If you need help and ask for it he will be there to give some comfort and support. If you expect him to step in and coddle you and bend over backwards to protect your feelings, you are in for a disappointment. Cassandra broke her vow and had to deal with the shit storm of consequences. Cruesa breaks down and goes into a temper tantrum Apollon distances himself from it. He sent Herakles to serve a term of slavery to resolve a blood debt. Frequently exiled murderers. Apollon brings all that you plant into fruition, so the word of advice is watching what you sow because you will be reaping it. It is not his job, or that of those who are his, to be your personal champions or knight in shining armor. He is not a knight. He is a mirror. What you see is not always pretty but it is something that can help you grow and develop if you choose to accept it as such.
Myth has a history of people blaming Apollon because they don’t like how shit turned out when near him. Orestes blamed Apollon for the truth of the Oracle given to him. Cruesa blamed Apollon for the loss of her son that she chose to abandon. The Erinyes blamed Apollon because they were loosing influence in favor of his domain. Apollon is a destroyer god. Herakles had a tantrum and tried to steal the tripod because Apollon was going to make him deal with his own shit storm he created for himself and not going to make it easier for him by giving him an oracle. He burns out in the infection so that one can heal. That means labors and trials. That means getting dirty and facing shit you don’t like to face. To face your own vulnerabilities and shadows. He will even give you a hand and light it up so you can get an even better glimpse of that stuff you don’t want to even look at.
He won’t protect your ego or sensitivities. Rarely will one who is devoted to him do so either…it seems to be a trait fairly common passed on to those who are his. It is not personal, anymore than a storm is personal. That said if you are having trouble coping with these things you are presented, reach out a hand and ask for help. He is generous and kind even if it may not be exact response that you wanted.
I have had to rub elbows with owning my own shit in my relationship with him for some time now. My life, my spiritual growth and welfare, my identity as a person, keeping my word and honor…all of these things and more I am responsible for even when it is not easy. Especially when it is not easy. Friction is necessary.